bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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