I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
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