It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
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