Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
