i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
