i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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