I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
