My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
