So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
