he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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