I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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