who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
