I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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