I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
