well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
