the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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