I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
