i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
