Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize