I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
