You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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