I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
