After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
