Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize