I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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