I love black thongs
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
