Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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