Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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