Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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