Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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