whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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