there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
