he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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