ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
