She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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