Having a random hookup so left but love u
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
