You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize