she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
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