just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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