I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
she looked like the before picture.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
