I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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