U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize