YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
