I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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