Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
