Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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