did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dignity is for republicans.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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