I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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