He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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