week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
