He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
