Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
