there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
