Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
It's rum buckets o'clock
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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