THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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